How to Know if Someone Is on Tinder and Dating You at the Same Time. Be mindful that whether or not they are on a dating site, it’s important that you. Be Honest in Your Profile, and You’ll Find Someone Honest. If you want to find someone genuine, then you need to be authentic as well. Those little white lies you tell about being younger, thinner, taller, or richer will come out pretty quickly once you meet in person, if not before. Honesty is, and will always be, the best policy. 5 Best Ways on How to Find Out if Someone is on Dating Sites in. Just dating case, I decided to tell you how to find out if your boyfriend is on site.

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Are we sacrificing love for convenience?

Posted September 6, 2016 Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and conventional wisdom both suggest that love is a fundamental human need. Most people meet their significant others through their social circles or work/school functions. However, these pools can be relatively shallow. In the search for a potential date, more and more people are switching to less traditional methods.

Online dating is really popular. Using the internet is really popular. A survey conducted in 2013 found that 77% of people considered it “very important” to have their smartphones with them at all times. With the rise of apps like Tinder (and the various copycat models), who could blame them? If you want to think about dating as a numbers game (and apparently many people do), you could probably swipe left/right between 10 to 100 times in the span of time that it would take you to interact with one potential date in ‘real life’.

With the popularity of sites like eHarmony, match.com, OkCupid and countless others, the stigma of online dating has diminished considerably in the last decade. According to the Pew Research Center, the overwhelming majority of Americans suggest that online dating is a good way to meet people. Online dating services are now the second most popular way to meet a partner.

The popularity of online dating is being driven by several things, but a major factor is time. Online dating presents an effective solution to a serious problem.

Browsing profiles isn’t nearly as time-consuming (or daunting) as mixing with people in a social context. Statistics suggest that about 1 in 5 relationships begin online nowadays. It’s estimated that by 2040, 70% of us will have met our significant other online.

The problem with a lot of online dating applications is that they don’t really work. Before you throw caution to the wind and empty your wallet into the pockets of an online app with the reckless abandon of a love-struck teenager, there are a few things you should know.

1. People lie on their online dating profiles

OK, this is hardly an earth-shattering revelation. Well duh, people want to be appealing. Most people probably wouldn’t be surprised to learn that it’s more common for people to lie in their online profile than be completely honest.

A study of over 1,000 online daters in the US and UK conducted by global research agency OpinionMatters founds some very interesting statistics. A total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile. Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves. But men were only marginally better. Their most common lies were about their financial situation, specifically about having a better job (financially) than they actually do. More than 40% of men indicated that they did this, but the tactic was also employed by nearly a third of women.

While dishonesty was slightly less prevalent among the British sample, 44% did admit to lying in their online profile. In both the US and UK samples, dishonesty declined with age. Maybe older people are just more interested in projecting their real self, rather than an imagined or ideal version.

2. Looking for a relationship? That must mean all you want is sex

One of the big problems with online dating for women is that, although there are genuine relationship-seeking men on the sites, there are also plenty of guys on there simply looking for sex. While most people would agree that on average men are more eager for sex than women, it seems that many men make the assumption that if a woman has an online dating presence, she’s interested in sleeping with relative strangers. Online dating does represent the convenience of being able to meet others that you possibly never would have otherwise, but women should be aware that they probably will receive rude/disgusting messages from horny guys, sexual propositions/requests, dick pics, and a lot of creepy vibes.

3. Negotiating the scam-ternet

Let’s be honest, the internet is really just a super elaborate and sophisticated farce designed to distract you from having your pockets picked by greasy conmen in cheap suits, right? Not quite, but it is full of unscrupulous vendors looking to separate you from your money by whatever means possible (in other news, have you heard about the secret to getting killer abs in less than 7 minutes using this 1 weird trick…?).

There are pitfalls and tripwires in every sphere of life, but this may be particularly true in the context of online dating. There are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of online scams, and I’m not going to run through any in detail here, but do some research before you go giving your bank details to ‘Nigerian princes’ promising ‘fun moments’. As a matter of fact, you should probably be wary of any person, group or entity asking for any kind of financial or personal information. It might even be advisable to follow these general guidelines:

Set up an anonymous email account from a widely used email service (I_heart_scamming123@gmail.com is already taken).

NEVER give out your home phone, address or personal email address unless you absolutely trust the recipient.

Drive yourself to the date (your date doesn’t need to know where you live), keep an eye on your drink/food (…), pay half of the bill (you don’t need your date having expectations of repayment).

Of course, there are plenty more do’s and do not’s of online dating, but I guess the most important thing here is to use your common sense. If something feels off, trust your gut. You don’t necessarily have to develop a ‘trust no-one and sleep with one eye open’ approach to online dating, but it is probably worthwhile to have a healthy degree of skepticism in general.

4. Relationships don’t last

Never mind the fact that more than one-third of all people who use online dating sites have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online, those that somehow do manage to find someone else they are willing to marry and who is willing to marry them (a vanishingly tiny subset of online daters) face an uphill battle. According to research conducted at Michigan State University, relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face. And it gets worse. Couples who met online are nearly three times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face.

However, it isn’t all misery and woe. While the overwhelming majority of romantic relationships still begin offline, around 5% of Americans who are currently in either a committed relationship or marriage indicate that they met their significant other online.

5. It makes you picky and judgmental

It’s very easy to send one course back (or even one after another) when the menu is overflowing with other potential courses. According to the Association for Psychological Science, reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting.

One of the most awkward experiences in online dating is rejecting someone who’s expressed interest in you. No one likes rejection, and simultaneously, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news. However, saying “thanks, but no thanks” is not only good online dating etiquette; it’s also an important part of your search for the person who you’re truly interested in.

So how do you tell people you’re not into them without being a total jerk about it? We asked several dating experts for their advice on what to say when you’re just not feeling it.

What to Say after You’ve Been Messaged Online

“Don’t feel pressured to write back or decline every time someone reaches out to you,” says April Beyer, Personal Matchmaker and Relationship Consultant. “You’ll never have enough time! Only write a kind note to someone who took his/her time to write you a real and authentic note. Winks, pokes, and likes about your photos don’t count. It’s a lazy approach so it doesn’t deserve your time.”

If you must respond be brief, direct, and kind. Try something like, “Thank you for your interest but I don’t see us as a match. Wishing you all the best in your search.”

However, if the person isn’t quite getting the message, Beyer says, “Just delete and keep moving. This person obviously doesn’t respect your needs or wants. Above all, play nice and, whether you’re asked out online or in person, be considerate and honest.”

Giving polite excuses is another option. “When turning someone down while online dating, I think most people just vanish from the conversation. This is fine if chats have been limited, but if you want to end the messaging in a mature way, you can simply say that you’ve met someone and you’re focusing on that person at the moment,” Shannon Tebb, Boutique Matchmaker and Dating Consultant at Shanny in the City, says.

Another suggestion? “You can say you’ve enjoyed chatting with them but you don’t have the availability at the moment due to work, etc.”

Compliments also go a long way, so don’t forget to use good online dating etiquette and mention how you appreciate the positive attention. “You never know if you’ll cross paths with this individual again, so it’s best to handle it in a positive way that will leave you both feeling good rather than jaded.”

What to Say After the First Date

“Always come from a place of integrity. You want to sandwich the more negative response between two positive comments,” Deanna Cobden, Dating and Relationship Coach, recommends. “Try to mention something positive about your experience on the date. Even if it was boring or didn’t go the way you wanted, you can still find something to appreciate about it.”

Another thing to keep in mind? Compassion. “This person is putting him or herself out there and being vulnerable, and that‘s a very brave thing to do.”

Try saying, “I really appreciated you taking the time to meet with me last Friday night. And while I enjoyed your company, I just didn’t feel a romantic connection. It was great meeting you and I wish you all the best.”

Honesty is always the best policy, and Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Sexologist, has a few ways to say you’re not interested that are succinct yet sweet:

“I don’t see this becoming a serious relationship and that’s what I’m looking for right now.”

How Do You Know If Someone On A Dating Site Is Interested In You Like

“You’re wonderful, but I’m just not feeling the chemistry between us.”

“I like and respect you and want to be straightforward to be fair…I just don’t think I’m the right fit.”

“I feel like the connection between us is more platonic.”

When it comes to online dating etiquette, it’s good to remember the golden rule—treat others the way you’d like to be treated. It’s not good to leave people hanging because you’re afraid to say you’re not interested. Be honest. Be kind. You may be surprised how much people appreciate it, and how better you feel.

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